7.28.2004
Eve droppings
Today at the gym I overheard a conversation between two girls and it included the line "So do shorter people have to go pee more often?" I laughed out loud and they gave me this disgusted sorority girl glare. It's nice to reinforce my homosexuality every once in a while.
In other news, I have created a photoblog. Here's a link, and I'll throw one over on the sidebar as well. My goal is to send one picture per day and prove to the world just how boring Gainesville really is.
7.15.2004
Profiling!!!!
I work in a small tax/law office. We have a couple high profile clients, but mainly we have a ton of octogenarian professionals: former doctors, lawyers and the like. Anyhow, I spend a lot of my time doing taxes and whatnot, but I also double as a part time receptionist/secretary for the head of the firm.
"I'd like to speak to J's secretary," the old fellows say.
"You're speaking to him," I reply.
"No, no. I want to talk to someone who can schedule an appointment."
They literally refuse to believe that I am a male secretary. A client just came in for a meeting and I was standing in the front office with a female accountant, and the lady absolutely would not look in my direction. I've worked with her before. She knows who I am and what I do. She was just desperately clinging to the possibility that my female coworker, a degree-holding Certified Public Accountant, could fill her secretarial needs.
Now I know how people of Middle Eastern descent feel at the airport.
7.08.2004
Inappropriate, Part III
I'm from Pekin, Illinois. Pee'-kin. If you take a globe and drill straight through the Earth, you will not get to Peking, China; however, several decades ago, some central Illinois settler would have begged to differ with you, and he was around first, so Pekin it is.
Let's talk about Pekin for a minute. It's located across the river from Peoria, Illinois, and inhabited by about 35,000 people. 35,000 upper/lower to upper/middle class people. More specifically, white people. Pekin is known for its klan rallies of the past, and its #1 export is crystal meth. But I digress...
"How can we repay our Asian brethren for lending us their name?" asked Joe Pekin. The best and most natural answer was to name our school mascot after them, and oh did we ever: we became the Pekin Chinks for many years - well into the later years of the 20th century, in fact.
The Chinks. And it was perfectly acceptable to have a big Chinese caricature running around the field during football games. No one thought twice about the prom king and queen - no, excuse me, the Chink and Chinklette. Until 1984!
I was always the star of any storytelling setting with that one until just recently, when a friend told me about the Fulton Unity Christian Knights.
7.06.2004
Inappropriate, Part II
I don't know if it's my ghetto booty pulling my pants tight in the front or what, but you can always see my junk all pressed up against my pants when I sit. It's kind of embarrassing. There are entire websites (and probably some religious sects) dedicated to camel toes, and now I am (involuntarily) doing my part to promote the male version.
7.04.2004
puss
I suppose this is as good of a time as any to let you in on a little secret: I'm deathly afraid of fireworks. They are right up there with alligators and bugs. I don't so much mind the municipally-administered ones, but if I am around amateurs trying to light some, I seek cover in the nearest shelter (preferably of the bomb variety).
