2.16.2005
love actually
Conversation between two hot guys working out next to me at the gym yesterday morning:
1: "Do anything for Valentine's Day last night?"
2: "Yeah, we went out to dinner. It was sorta sentimental, but it was the same old blowjob when we got home."
And they say romance is dead!
2.10.2005
quarantine
I was totally hooked on Big Brother 5 last fall. I tuned in three times a week as one by one they were all voted off, until it was down to just Cowboy and Drew. As luck would have it, I had a Business Law exam the night of the big finale... but my trusty dvr never lets me down.
So I hurried through the exam and sped home to watch the show, when I decided to quickly check my email. I fired up the laptop and was automatically signed in to AOL Instant Messenger, when to my horror the opening window popped up with the latest news: Drew wins! I turned my head, slammed the laptop shut, did everything I could to get the image out of my mind, but there it was - those eight simple letters seared into my memory, destroying months worth of buildup and anticipation in one fell swoop.
Fast forward to yesterday. After literally thousands of requests for a blog update (ok just the one), I finally had something blogworthy: I used my blog as a forum to broadcast my disdain for Freddy and Kendra, the annoying, undeserving winners of the Amazing Race 5. I'd been following the series along with my friend Patrick, although whereas I've only been with the show since season four, he has been with it from the beginning. So last night he was at work waiting to be cashed out (he pedals burgers at a large theme restaurant in Downtown Disney), Patrick decided to log on to his T-Mobile Sidekick to see what his friend Josh had been up to.
"Ooh he updated," he exclaimed. He read the short entry and though to himself "hmm... I wonder what made him type thOH MY GOD!"
These two events give rise to a new rule that goes in effect immediately. It's a little thing I'd like to call the Reality Television Quarantine Rule. It's pretty simple: If you are a reality tv addict and you feel your life may be adversely affected by learning the outcome of one of your favorites, you may not open yourself up to any outside information whatsoever until you have witnessed the show for yourself. No AOL Instant Messenger. No blogs. No radio in the car - satellite or regular. No television. No newspapers. You aren't even allowed to go to work, where it may be discussed at the water cooler.
What was life like before TiVO? I bet it sucked.
I'm done.
2.08.2005
i hate freddy and kendra
my day is ruined
