tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38977282009-09-24T14:44:34.617-05:00you're not a man. you're a chickenbooo.Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-67832166514316725622009-09-24T14:42:00.002-05:002009-09-24T14:44:34.625-05:00

We have this Sobik's subs shop in our building's lobby and the consensus among all living Americans is that it's a terrible terrible place. But I occasionally hop down there to grab a drink or a 5 Hour Energy or what have you, although I hate myself for contributing to keep that terrible place afloat. Anyhow, this nice girl works there. And she's kinda terrible, but she's always nice. But

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1862524654548493142009-07-02T09:56:00.005-05:002009-07-02T10:24:51.751-05:00

I had my wisdom teeth pulled eleven years ago. When the anesthesia began to kick in the nurse asked me to count backwards from one hundred and I distinctly remember making it to ninety-seven before I passed out.When the procedure was over I woke up silly from the anesthesia and started crying. But it wasn't out of pain or sadness, it was just my reaction to the medicine. The nurse tried to

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-12805485010473064542009-06-12T13:08:00.005-05:002009-06-12T13:14:51.019-05:00

This is the headline on People.com right now:They say it with a big exclamation point as if to say "watch them celebrate this wondrous event!" Like I'm going to click the link expecting to see "we sent our photographers to check up on the happy couple as they celebrate their love by renewing their vows over Niagara Falls!"But no... it's going to be spent in separate states, or in cold silence on

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-42545606567216174832009-03-28T07:17:00.003-05:002009-03-28T07:23:41.454-05:00

The missionaries were downtown in full force this morning, distributing holy pamphlets and preaching to the homeless around Lake Eola. Two ladies hovered over one guy on a bench, preaching the ways of the Lord to him though he couldn't have been less interested. In fact, I'm not sure how he was supposed to hear them with his headphones on. But the women were persistent. They were talking to

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-79170991863966558122008-12-29T10:29:00.001-05:002008-12-29T10:31:59.464-05:00

I went back to Illinois from Saturday the 20th until Saturday the 27th. And as it turns out, Illinois is cold in the winter. Rrurrrl cold. It was -2 degrees last Sunday when I woke up. Then the sun came out and it was still -2 degrees. Then it was 3pm and it was still -2 degrees. Why didn't the sun warm the Earth!? And we're not talking -2 degrees windchill. This was the raw

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-36785575337957805682008-06-18T06:20:00.004-05:002008-06-18T06:28:09.514-05:00

Wow, Yahoo.com! A little presumptuous about these gentlemens' bedroom behavior, aren't we? I showed this to Todd, and he argued that he was a little put off because the hand underneath looks more dominant.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-20942009900412615632008-05-13T12:10:00.004-05:002008-05-13T12:25:50.910-05:00

Greetings from Dallas, Texas. A coworker and I are here for the week to learn about income tax preparation software. It's the second trip we've taken this year - we spent a few days in San Diego in January learning about property tax preparation software.I have a few observations about training classes. Or more specifically, the training class attendant archetypes. These people in my class

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-17102177629731791672008-05-08T13:04:00.002-05:002008-05-08T13:11:57.990-05:00

I work in a large office in Downtown Orlando, and while my office is only a mile from my home, I frequently eat lunch at one of the many local restaurants. When I have a good dining experience, I always want to share it with my co-workers. So starting today, I've appointed myself to the position of "Payday Food Critic." I'm a dork.Here is the email I sent to some of my coworkers today after

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-5425006873307993962008-04-14T11:55:00.002-05:002008-04-14T12:04:54.380-05:00

I don't like being social on Friday nights. If I must see people, I try to be home by 9:00.My face sweats when I eat certain fruits.I hate olives and beer.I rarely eat Italian food in the summer.Few things make me laugh harder than seeing someone fall down or someone break a piece of furniture over someone else.I find an subtle outward-facing lazy eye to be an attractive feature on another

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-89132993563755337252008-03-18T12:38:00.003-05:002008-03-18T12:49:56.715-05:00

On a distant orbital of my circle of friends resides this guy I hate. I guess he's technically not in my circle of friends, but some of my closer friends like him for some mysterious reason.Anyhow, he's terrible. And he has this terrible sister. I assume the entire family is terrible because although I have never met them, I don't believe a normal family envirmonment could produce such vile

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-55203653787175321972008-03-08T19:06:00.002-05:002008-03-08T19:25:21.413-05:00

I generally keep my blog relatively friendly for people of all ages, but I need to share something dirty that happened to me today.Patrick, Todd and I had just walked into Best Buy when I broke off to take a leak. While I was doing that, another gentleman stepped up to do the same at the urinal next to me.He was taking forever to unbuckle his belt and standing back rather far, but I went about

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-39909823422880622942008-02-29T00:13:00.005-05:002008-02-29T00:49:22.525-05:00

I was surfing the internet at work today and noticed Guitar Hero recently added some new downloadable content. The first offering I saw is a No Doubt pak, featuring three songs from their awesome mid-90s album Tragic Kingdom.In true Guitar Hero fashion, they omitted the obvious track - I'm Just a Girl. But they managed to squeeze Don't Speak and a couple other goodies on there, so I can't

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-27757075793688127162008-02-01T09:22:00.000-05:002008-02-01T09:47:59.261-05:00

I played too much World of Warcraft between January 2007 and January 2008. We're talking 3-5 hours a night, 4+ nights per week. Some Saturdays I'd wake up, log on, play all day, then go to bed. Other times I'd call in to work because I wanted to stay home and play.Over time, it became an obligation. My guild started meeting up 3+ nights per week, meaning that I had to tell my real life

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-32949744007212248112007-12-14T10:37:00.001-05:002007-12-14T10:38:41.897-05:00

I'm in a great mood today, but R.E.M.'s Everybody Hurts is stuck in my head. My subconscience (is that a word?) is working against me.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-50676339085944292222007-11-29T08:55:00.000-05:002007-11-29T08:56:36.994-05:00

It's been a long time since I puked from drinking too much. Or at least it had until last night.Happy birthday to me!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-73276889484937111952007-11-23T09:14:00.000-05:002007-11-23T09:22:18.427-05:00

While I was busy neglecting my blog last summer, I moved into an awesome house downtown with a couple of my friends. And when I say downtown, I mean you walk out my door and around the corner and suddenly you are in the midst of several skyscrapers.Downtown living comes many benefits - I can jog from my front door around Lake Eola and back (I said that I can, not that I would), walk to the hot

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-65676694535057158902007-11-15T07:47:00.000-05:002007-11-15T07:57:19.963-05:00

I have a top-secret engagement this afternoon. I can't disclose many details about it, but it involves meeting one or two professionals whose impression of me could determine a change in my near future.I obviously want my first impression to be a favorable one, so I spent a significant amount of time over the past two days sewing up the hole in the butt of my suit pants, ironing a nice white

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-71690481944097264742007-11-14T11:51:00.000-05:002007-11-14T11:57:44.812-05:00

Today will go down in history for the city of Orlando. For today is the grand opening of our very own IKEA store. Until Fort Lauderdale's store opened last month, we were forced to drive all the way to Atlanta for our bargain furniture needs.Needless to say, the local gays are aflutter. This morning I received a series of text messages from my friend Peter, featuring his homage to this

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-33354134522557156202007-10-08T20:07:00.000-05:002007-10-08T20:12:54.448-05:00

I apologize in advance for the smallness of this picture. At some point during the 94 months since I last blogged, I accidentally changed the resolution on my high tech camera phone to a teeny tiny 320x240. But without further ado, I give you the... Hobo Cocoon! Thanks to Patrick for that description. I was going to make a lame joke about a bag of garbage in a tree, but he found the perfect

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-76723603320082635562007-04-09T19:00:00.000-05:002007-04-09T19:09:05.024-05:00

I purchased a delicious Chik Fil A grilled chicken club sandwich on my drive home from work this evening. As I pulled out of the drive thru, my iPod treated me to a little "Take A Chance On Me," and of course I was obligated to sing along (between sandwich bites).If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey I'm still free. Take a ch... ch... choking... on a tiny piece of bacon!!I was

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-27668260825889680082007-03-25T20:52:00.000-05:002007-03-25T21:00:32.918-05:00

Tonight I will address some of your concerns about my lack of blogs over the last two months. The rumors are true - I may have given up major components of my life (Heroes, Lost) to play World of Warcraft. And I may have purchased a 24 inch monitor upon which to play it. But the real reason I've been blogless is that we are in the busiest part of tax season and my career doesn't provide for

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-54068733367813874272007-03-24T17:26:00.000-05:002007-03-25T20:51:59.185-05:00

Wow. Just wow. This guy has a pride sticker in his rear window and a cock ring and some Mardi Gras beads hanging from his mirror. I think I have just stumbled into a miniature gay pride parade.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-73147581808345833462007-01-02T21:16:00.000-05:002007-01-02T21:24:30.954-05:00

I made fun of Patrick for many years for playing Dance Dance Revolution until I was coerced into playing and sort of enjoyed myself. But the DDR doesn't compare to Guitar Hero. I am currently shopping online for two different guitar sets - one comes with Guitar Hero I and the other comes with Guitar Hero II. Oh, I also have to buy a Playstation 2. Todd and I just spent an hour playing the display

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1167404440509358322006-12-29T09:54:00.000-05:002006-12-29T10:00:40.536-05:00

I'm sitting in O'Hare airport looking at various collegiate shirts of people whom I'm assuming are travelling to different bowl games around the country. I've seen Michigan, Wisconsin, Kansas, Penn State, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Iowa and Rutgers, to name a few. And I'm representin' with my Gators shirt. But one shirt I haven't seen is Illinois (despite the fact that I'm only about 100 miles from

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1166900423259216122006-12-23T13:59:00.000-05:002006-12-25T10:33:01.806-05:00

This is indoor surfing. In the middle of the Florida Mall. I almost got a picture of a little girl wiping out, but it came out blurry. So I hope you enjoy this 0% body fat surfer showing off for you. Also, who came up with the idea of indoor surfing in a mall?

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.com