tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38977282011-07-08T01:27:08.192-05:00you're not a man. you're a chickenbooo.Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comBlogger1821100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-67832166514316725622009-09-24T14:42:00.002-05:002009-09-24T14:44:34.625-05:00

We have this Sobik's subs shop in our building's lobby and the consensus among all living Americans is that it's a terrible terrible place. But I occasionally hop down there to grab a drink or a 5 Hour Energy or what have you, although I hate myself for contributing to keep that terrible place afloat. Anyhow, this nice girl works there. And she's kinda terrible, but she's always nice. But

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1862524654548493142009-07-02T09:56:00.005-05:002009-07-02T10:24:51.751-05:00

I had my wisdom teeth pulled eleven years ago. When the anesthesia began to kick in the nurse asked me to count backwards from one hundred and I distinctly remember making it to ninety-seven before I passed out.When the procedure was over I woke up silly from the anesthesia and started crying. But it wasn't out of pain or sadness, it was just my reaction to the medicine. The nurse tried to

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-12805485010473064542009-06-12T13:08:00.005-05:002009-06-12T13:14:51.019-05:00

This is the headline on People.com right now:They say it with a big exclamation point as if to say "watch them celebrate this wondrous event!" Like I'm going to click the link expecting to see "we sent our photographers to check up on the happy couple as they celebrate their love by renewing their vows over Niagara Falls!"But no... it's going to be spent in separate states, or in cold silence on

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-42545606567216174832009-03-28T07:17:00.003-05:002009-03-28T07:23:41.454-05:00

The missionaries were downtown in full force this morning, distributing holy pamphlets and preaching to the homeless around Lake Eola. Two ladies hovered over one guy on a bench, preaching the ways of the Lord to him though he couldn't have been less interested. In fact, I'm not sure how he was supposed to hear them with his headphones on. But the women were persistent. They were talking to

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-79170991863966558122008-12-29T10:29:00.001-05:002008-12-29T10:31:59.464-05:00

I went back to Illinois from Saturday the 20th until Saturday the 27th. And as it turns out, Illinois is cold in the winter. Rrurrrl cold. It was -2 degrees last Sunday when I woke up. Then the sun came out and it was still -2 degrees. Then it was 3pm and it was still -2 degrees. Why didn't the sun warm the Earth!? And we're not talking -2 degrees windchill. This was the raw

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-36785575337957805682008-06-18T06:20:00.004-05:002008-06-18T06:28:09.514-05:00

Wow, Yahoo.com! A little presumptuous about these gentlemens' bedroom behavior, aren't we? I showed this to Todd, and he argued that he was a little put off because the hand underneath looks more dominant.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-20942009900412615632008-05-13T12:10:00.004-05:002008-05-13T12:25:50.910-05:00

Greetings from Dallas, Texas. A coworker and I are here for the week to learn about income tax preparation software. It's the second trip we've taken this year - we spent a few days in San Diego in January learning about property tax preparation software.I have a few observations about training classes. Or more specifically, the training class attendant archetypes. These people in my class

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-17102177629731791672008-05-08T13:04:00.002-05:002008-05-08T13:11:57.990-05:00

I work in a large office in Downtown Orlando, and while my office is only a mile from my home, I frequently eat lunch at one of the many local restaurants. When I have a good dining experience, I always want to share it with my co-workers. So starting today, I've appointed myself to the position of "Payday Food Critic." I'm a dork.Here is the email I sent to some of my coworkers today after

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-5425006873307993962008-04-14T11:55:00.002-05:002008-04-14T12:04:54.380-05:00

I don't like being social on Friday nights. If I must see people, I try to be home by 9:00.My face sweats when I eat certain fruits.I hate olives and beer.I rarely eat Italian food in the summer.Few things make me laugh harder than seeing someone fall down or someone break a piece of furniture over someone else.I find an subtle outward-facing lazy eye to be an attractive feature on another

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-89132993563755337252008-03-18T12:38:00.003-05:002008-03-18T12:49:56.715-05:00

On a distant orbital of my circle of friends resides this guy I hate. I guess he's technically not in my circle of friends, but some of my closer friends like him for some mysterious reason.Anyhow, he's terrible. And he has this terrible sister. I assume the entire family is terrible because although I have never met them, I don't believe a normal family envirmonment could produce such vile

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-55203653787175321972008-03-08T19:06:00.002-05:002008-03-08T19:25:21.413-05:00

I generally keep my blog relatively friendly for people of all ages, but I need to share something dirty that happened to me today.Patrick, Todd and I had just walked into Best Buy when I broke off to take a leak. While I was doing that, another gentleman stepped up to do the same at the urinal next to me.He was taking forever to unbuckle his belt and standing back rather far, but I went about

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-39909823422880622942008-02-29T00:13:00.005-05:002008-02-29T00:49:22.525-05:00

I was surfing the internet at work today and noticed Guitar Hero recently added some new downloadable content. The first offering I saw is a No Doubt pak, featuring three songs from their awesome mid-90s album Tragic Kingdom.In true Guitar Hero fashion, they omitted the obvious track - I'm Just a Girl. But they managed to squeeze Don't Speak and a couple other goodies on there, so I can't

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-27757075793688127162008-02-01T09:22:00.000-05:002008-02-01T09:47:59.261-05:00

I played too much World of Warcraft between January 2007 and January 2008. We're talking 3-5 hours a night, 4+ nights per week. Some Saturdays I'd wake up, log on, play all day, then go to bed. Other times I'd call in to work because I wanted to stay home and play.Over time, it became an obligation. My guild started meeting up 3+ nights per week, meaning that I had to tell my real life

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-32949744007212248112007-12-14T10:37:00.001-05:002007-12-14T10:38:41.897-05:00

I'm in a great mood today, but R.E.M.'s Everybody Hurts is stuck in my head. My subconscience (is that a word?) is working against me.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-50676339085944292222007-11-29T08:55:00.000-05:002007-11-29T08:56:36.994-05:00

It's been a long time since I puked from drinking too much. Or at least it had until last night.Happy birthday to me!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-73276889484937111952007-11-23T09:14:00.000-05:002007-11-23T09:22:18.427-05:00

While I was busy neglecting my blog last summer, I moved into an awesome house downtown with a couple of my friends. And when I say downtown, I mean you walk out my door and around the corner and suddenly you are in the midst of several skyscrapers.Downtown living comes many benefits - I can jog from my front door around Lake Eola and back (I said that I can, not that I would), walk to the hot

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-65676694535057158902007-11-15T07:47:00.000-05:002007-11-15T07:57:19.963-05:00

I have a top-secret engagement this afternoon. I can't disclose many details about it, but it involves meeting one or two professionals whose impression of me could determine a change in my near future.I obviously want my first impression to be a favorable one, so I spent a significant amount of time over the past two days sewing up the hole in the butt of my suit pants, ironing a nice white

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-71690481944097264742007-11-14T11:51:00.000-05:002007-11-14T11:57:44.812-05:00

Today will go down in history for the city of Orlando. For today is the grand opening of our very own IKEA store. Until Fort Lauderdale's store opened last month, we were forced to drive all the way to Atlanta for our bargain furniture needs.Needless to say, the local gays are aflutter. This morning I received a series of text messages from my friend Peter, featuring his homage to this

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-33354134522557156202007-10-08T20:07:00.000-05:002007-10-08T20:12:54.448-05:00

I apologize in advance for the smallness of this picture. At some point during the 94 months since I last blogged, I accidentally changed the resolution on my high tech camera phone to a teeny tiny 320x240. But without further ado, I give you the... Hobo Cocoon! Thanks to Patrick for that description. I was going to make a lame joke about a bag of garbage in a tree, but he found the perfect

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-76723603320082635562007-04-09T19:00:00.000-05:002007-04-09T19:09:05.024-05:00

I purchased a delicious Chik Fil A grilled chicken club sandwich on my drive home from work this evening. As I pulled out of the drive thru, my iPod treated me to a little "Take A Chance On Me," and of course I was obligated to sing along (between sandwich bites).If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey I'm still free. Take a ch... ch... choking... on a tiny piece of bacon!!I was

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-27668260825889680082007-03-25T20:52:00.000-05:002007-03-25T21:00:32.918-05:00

Tonight I will address some of your concerns about my lack of blogs over the last two months. The rumors are true - I may have given up major components of my life (Heroes, Lost) to play World of Warcraft. And I may have purchased a 24 inch monitor upon which to play it. But the real reason I've been blogless is that we are in the busiest part of tax season and my career doesn't provide for

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-54068733367813874272007-03-24T17:26:00.000-05:002007-03-25T20:51:59.185-05:00

Wow. Just wow. This guy has a pride sticker in his rear window and a cock ring and some Mardi Gras beads hanging from his mirror. I think I have just stumbled into a miniature gay pride parade.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-73147581808345833462007-01-02T21:16:00.000-05:002007-01-02T21:24:30.954-05:00

I made fun of Patrick for many years for playing Dance Dance Revolution until I was coerced into playing and sort of enjoyed myself. But the DDR doesn't compare to Guitar Hero. I am currently shopping online for two different guitar sets - one comes with Guitar Hero I and the other comes with Guitar Hero II. Oh, I also have to buy a Playstation 2. Todd and I just spent an hour playing the display

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1167404440509358322006-12-29T09:54:00.000-05:002006-12-29T10:00:40.536-05:00

I'm sitting in O'Hare airport looking at various collegiate shirts of people whom I'm assuming are travelling to different bowl games around the country. I've seen Michigan, Wisconsin, Kansas, Penn State, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Iowa and Rutgers, to name a few. And I'm representin' with my Gators shirt. But one shirt I haven't seen is Illinois (despite the fact that I'm only about 100 miles from

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1166900423259216122006-12-23T13:59:00.000-05:002006-12-25T10:33:01.806-05:00

This is indoor surfing. In the middle of the Florida Mall. I almost got a picture of a little girl wiping out, but it came out blurry. So I hope you enjoy this 0% body fat surfer showing off for you. Also, who came up with the idea of indoor surfing in a mall?

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1166621233121588682006-12-20T08:26:00.000-05:002006-12-25T10:34:24.596-05:00

I told you Heroes ripped all its material from other sources! That creepy S symbol appearing on all the heroes was lifted straight from a lighting store sign in Winter Park, Florida. In related news, I can't wait until January 22nd when the season continues.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1165690048139763642006-12-09T13:47:00.000-05:002006-12-10T18:01:33.146-05:00

This mother held up a sign about how we aren't holy enough while her son shouted at passers-by through his megaphone. I bet their dinner table conversations are real engaging.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1165615176096190012006-12-08T16:55:00.000-05:002006-12-08T16:59:36.106-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up late, then you can't find your keys, then you knock a stack of papers over, then you step in the wastebasket and fall down, then the curtains catch on fire, then you make it out to your car to find a flat tire, and you change the tire but run out of gas on the way to work, then you make it to work 2 hours late to find a huge stack of papers

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1165016187879679752006-12-01T18:36:00.000-05:002006-12-01T18:46:22.470-05:00

I appreciate a funny Heinz label as much as the next guy, but this one is way out there. La Lohan doesn't eat burgers. And that's a little too close for comfort to Fergalicious. Everything about this label is so wrong, but so right.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1164996656010974642006-12-01T13:11:00.000-05:002006-12-01T18:47:17.770-05:00

So I'm in Illinois for my grandmother's funeral, which was postponed today because we're all stuck in our homes due to the 12 inches of snow that fell last night. I broke my back and shoulders shoveling a driveway earlier. This is exactly why I moved to Florida.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1164932096405435762006-11-30T19:15:00.000-05:002006-12-01T11:41:57.530-05:00

I just came across a Plinko board in the basement of my sister's church. I couldn't resist playing a couple rounds despite the fact that we're here setting up for my grandmother's funeral. Call me irreverent and disrespectful all you want, but I'd like to see you walk past a Plinko board and not stop to play.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1164602896885748032006-11-26T23:38:00.000-05:002006-11-26T23:48:17.006-05:00

My holiday weekend was perfect - I spent pretty much the whole time hanging out with Todd. We shopped. We ate. We spent eighteen hours over three days playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance on Patrick's XBox 360 while he was at work. And just about an hour ago, we conquered that sucker (after eight meal-free hours of playing).The best quote of the weekend came at lunch today while the three of us

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1163226413266732002006-11-11T01:19:00.000-05:002006-11-11T01:44:36.223-05:00

A rather large group of us gays just played paintball in a very questionable area of town. We really owned our gayness by calling ourselves "Team Sparkle," and at the start of every round we'd shout "sparkle up!" At one point right in the middle of a match I heard our team moderator telling her friends "Um, they're gay!" I was all "I heard that!" She didn't know what to say at first, but

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1163227057993727652006-11-10T11:30:00.000-05:002006-11-11T01:40:20.256-05:00

Patrick and I had a red hat ladies sighting on Wednesday at Chamberlain's Market. I didn't know they actually existed.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1162957021291713992006-11-07T21:35:00.000-05:002006-11-07T22:52:02.150-05:00

So I need to talk about one more tv show. Have you watched Heroes? It's bad. I mean it's one of the five awesomest shows on television, but it's bad. Does that make any sense? Do you see what I mean when I say that? Let's examine why it's awesome vs. why it's awful.AwesomeAwfulHiroAble to stop time. Started out annoying, but earned my respect. A glimpse of Future Hiro shows us that he gets a

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1162439004949300662006-11-02T00:20:00.000-05:002006-11-01T22:45:03.750-05:00

Did you see Lost tonight? It turned my entire life upside-down face. In case you missed it, I'll provide a quick recap:hallucinationtumormediatesmogmonstersevered handsguy from Love Actually (thank me later for the bonus LL in that pic - we all know how she rules the world)Atticus Fincheyepatchbad cgi sequencedeathvery little Charlie & Claire (the writers must have received my letters)I'm still

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1162390338181757462006-11-01T09:05:00.000-05:002006-11-01T09:23:28.876-05:00

The Pita Pit is the second most delicious thing to ever happen to my mouth. And just when I thought I couldn't enjoy it any more than I already do, I had a 3:15am gyro last night after some dancing and drinking. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I might even step my alcohol consumption up a notch just so I can indulge in more late-night deliciousness. By the way, sorry for the

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1161275527209498502006-10-19T11:21:00.000-05:002006-10-19T11:32:07.253-05:00

You've heard how funny my sister is, right? She works for a criminal attorney in Illinois where she and her assistant Lucy keep occupied by pissing people off.Anyhow, the phone rang yesterday and Lucy picked up, and a voice on the other end asked for Julie. Knowing there was no Julie at their office, Lucy still put the caller on hold and asked my sister what to do. So my sister picked the

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1160705458001087202006-10-12T20:49:00.000-05:002006-10-13T06:29:31.110-05:00

I'm not a big fan of the customized myspace layout. People with personalized myspace layouts don't exercise judgment. If another wacky script fits in a white box somewhere in the page, the personalized layout people are going to utilize it at all costs. Readability? Seizure prevention? Things of the past! Totally not important in web design.I found a simpler way to personalize my myspace

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1159491749677291442006-09-28T20:01:00.000-05:002006-09-28T20:02:29.690-05:00

Screech Powers has a sex tape. Way to rob me of my childhood.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1159231864080996772006-09-25T19:39:00.000-05:002006-09-25T19:51:17.383-05:00

We celebrated Patrick's birthday over the weekend. I'm sorry I didn't get any skydiving pictures, but my hands were a little shaky and I didn't particularly want to drop my phone from out of the sky. Click on Patrick's and Todd's photoblogs in my sidebar to get some pics. Anyhow, we did other stuff too. Here are some pictures.How I love Islands of Adventure. And now I have an annual pass!We

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1159154630861935772006-09-24T22:22:00.000-05:002006-09-24T22:23:50.880-05:00

I jumped out of a plane and skyrocketed toward the Earth for three miles today. What did you do?

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1158513045913101692006-09-17T11:52:00.000-05:002006-09-17T12:16:25.546-05:00

My first assignment in my online graduate communications course is to make a short video introducing myself to everyone else in the course. I'm amazed at the variety on some of these videos. Between the guy reading everything off of a card to the girl sitting in the chair in the corner of her pink room with perfect camera lighting, I don't know where mine is going to fall into the mix. But

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1157682691140622332006-09-07T21:26:00.000-05:002006-09-08T21:27:49.246-05:00

So just to set the scene, Patrick and I are playing Trivial Pursuit 90s edition while enjoying a couple enormous bottles of Shiraz Cabernet blend. And let me tell you how gay/smart I am. Here's the question:What hip line of handbags did Katherine Noel Brosnahan and her beau dream up while chilling out in Provincetown? Click the comments for the correct answer!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1157380900156362102006-09-04T09:09:00.000-05:002006-09-04T09:41:43.956-05:00

Todd's and my new invention: the Chicken Mary. It's basically a Bloody Mary with wing sauce. And it's so delicious that you barely notice your lips burning off of your face.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1157001265943777312006-08-31T00:13:00.000-05:002006-08-31T00:20:05.940-05:00

I am laying in bed and I swear I just got rained on. Several times. By teeny droplets. The strangest part is that I'm downstairs in a two story house.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1156895161591833222006-08-29T18:42:00.000-05:002006-08-29T18:46:01.603-05:00

I guess the young wizards and witches are driving Pontiac Vibes around Hogwarts these days.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1155870084049195672006-08-17T22:00:00.000-05:002006-08-17T22:01:34.976-05:00

David BoreanazJason StathamJustin TimberlakeRobert Best (please don't tell anyone that one... he's kind of a lady, but he rules in ways I can't describe)Travis Wall (total P.C.)

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1155869892101348152006-08-17T21:54:00.000-05:002006-08-17T21:58:12.113-05:00

Kelly ClarksonDeborah MessingPortia de RossiScarlett JohanssonKatharine McPheeJackie from Workout (see #4)

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1155583327076318352006-08-14T14:14:00.000-05:002006-08-14T14:22:07.106-05:00

I am back in the Atlanta airport for an hour-long layover, and I felt it necessary to pay eight dollars for 24 hours of WiFi while I wait. Granted, we'll probably board about 20 minutes early, so it's eight dollars for about forty minutes. But it's worth it to an addict like myself.Anyhow, post-terrorism travel from Bloomington, Illinois to Atlanta was a piece of cake. I showed up three hours

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1155321058180404572006-08-11T12:58:00.000-05:002006-08-11T13:30:58.250-05:00

Even though Matt and I broke up last month, he left me with a permanent case of drum corps fever*. DCI finals are in Madison, Wisconsin this year, about three hours north of my hometown. Since I am back home this week, I drove up with some friends last night to catch our first live quarterfinals.I spent the last three summers as a Cavalier by marriage (this is Matt's 12th season with the corps)

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1155135646091706062006-08-09T09:58:00.000-05:002006-08-09T10:00:46.110-05:00

I had my inaugural pedicure yesterday, and I have to say it was an extremely pleasant experience. I forsee many more of them throughout my life, and perhaps a manicure (still uncharted territory) as well.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1154782278343620412006-08-05T07:24:00.000-05:002006-08-05T07:51:19.156-05:00

I am not generally a Kathy Griffin fan. On one hand I think she's great because she makes a career of demonizing celebrities. But on her show, My Life on the D List, she has a habit of throwing regular people under the bus when they don't really deserve it. Also, I once heard a radio interview where she criticized Margaret Cho for whining too much, when Kathy has her PhD in whining. She's

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1154555595821348372006-08-02T16:38:00.000-05:002006-08-02T16:53:20.553-05:00

I have fallen prey to Myspace. At first I quietly signed up to see where my old high school chums ended up. Then I added a picture. Next thing I knew, the old high school chums were sending me buddy requests. Suddenly I have like 70 friends.Much to my dismay, Patrick and Todd have kept a low profile on the site. So this morning I finally told Patrick that he needed to add a picture so I can

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1154281164260368242006-07-30T12:26:00.000-05:002006-07-30T12:39:24.306-05:00

It takes a certain type of person to put an innertube in a river and keep floating, despite the rain and lightning. That person is not me. But after the sun came out, I had a good time out there.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1154007218807092422006-07-27T08:30:00.000-05:002006-07-27T08:33:38.820-05:00

I am leaving Gainesville forever in a couple weeks, so last night after my Project Runway gathering a group of friends went to karaoke at the local bar. I decided that, since I no longer have to keep up appearances, I was going to sing with reckless abandon. My repertoire included the following:Escape Club - Wild Wild WestYoung MC - Bust A MoveAn a capella rendition of Digital Underground - The

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1153954858209097062006-07-26T17:49:00.000-05:002006-07-26T18:00:58.273-05:00

I'm moving to Orlando in a couple weeks where I am renting a room from my friend Jon. His place only has one bathroom, but I don't mind sharing. It just occurred to me, though, that I use all three of the bathrooms in my apartment every morning. I wake up and do my business and weigh myself in Matt's bathroom (because I am sleeping in there while he is gone for the summer, since he has the

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1152579249076792522006-07-10T19:11:00.000-05:002006-07-10T20:31:49.663-05:00

We celebrated Todd's birthday in Miami over the weekend, and while much of what happened in South Florida stays in South Florida, I did get some pictures at Vizcaya, a mansion/museum on Biscayne Bay.The backsideof the building.Patrick is kindly asking the sun to bring it down a notch, because we were on the verge of melting.This statue lady ismaking out with a swan.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1151546423286832502006-06-28T20:56:00.000-05:002006-06-28T21:03:11.076-05:00

Mark your calendars - something interesting happened in my life today. Yolanda from The Amazing Race 9 was totally working out at my gym just now. As it turns out, she grew up here and went to UF. I was totally reality star-struck. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was a mere five feet away. Isn't my life interesting?

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1150867206143613952006-06-20T23:45:00.000-05:002006-06-21T15:00:46.416-05:00

Sometimes my friends and I feel like we've reached the end of the Internet. I mean how long can one actually spend reading The Onion or stalking old high school alums on MySpace? But David and I found a way to pass the time yesterday - by critiquing various state flags. So I've decided to go a step further and show you my Top Ten State Flags and the what motto might be adopted by a state based

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1148894467856697352006-05-28T14:12:00.000-05:002006-05-29T04:21:07.866-05:00

Britt, Stephen and I played 18 holes today. Of mini golf. This little guy lives in hole #8.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1148477036680221792006-05-24T08:21:00.000-05:002006-06-21T00:22:28.046-05:00

Chicken Boo? What's the matter with you?You don't look like the other chickens do.You wear a disguise to look like human guysBut you're not a man - you're a Chicken Boo.Godspeed, my brother.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1147443603223021832006-05-13T09:17:00.000-05:002006-06-21T09:07:22.506-05:00

Remember my fear of alligators? Remember how you dismissed it as rubbish?IN YOUR FACE, BITCHES!!!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1147330403577259292006-05-11T01:49:00.000-05:002006-05-12T09:32:36.656-05:00

Lost. Mojitos. America's Next Top Model. Karaoke. American Idol. The Amazing Race. I love Wednesdays!I was wasted by 8:00. Unfortunately we didn't go to the bar until 10:30. Needless to say, American Idol inspired me to do some serious karaoke. I sang:Paula Abdul - Cold Hearted (killed)En Vogue - Free Your Mind (with a drag queen) (meh)C+C Music Factory - Things That Make You Go Hmm (

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1147229852066624562006-05-09T21:49:00.000-05:002006-05-09T21:57:32.076-05:00

I just cast 30+ votes for Katharine McPhee. Feel free to mock me.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1146597740934264642006-05-02T14:05:00.000-05:002006-05-02T14:22:20.946-05:00

Todd and I had another instant message brainstorm today. In case you were ever wondering how to get from "The Rimbaldi Artifact" to "I lent a bear $10," I'll post the transcript.Todd: The Rimbaldi ArtifactJosh: The Rosetta StoneTodd: The Blarney StoneJosh: The Barney ShowTodd: The Party Sto' (re)Josh: McCarthy, JoeTodd: Cartographers blow.Josh: Bea Arth-oreTodd: Shoes

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1145838008141917242006-04-23T19:11:00.002-05:002006-04-23T19:24:08.683-05:00

On Friday after work my friend Stephen and I couldn't come up with anything to do. I wanted to go bowling. He wanted to see a movie. I wanted to play pool. No concensus. So instead, I spent the evening at home drinking a bottle of wine and trying to assemble a puzzle. I'm the oldest thing ever. I'm older than Yoda. So here is the puzzle - It's a photomosaic and therefore way impossible and I

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1145541654453853382006-04-20T08:41:00.000-05:002006-05-13T06:21:10.276-05:00

I am terrified of alligators. Most of the country probably thinks I'm irrational, because who has to worry about an alligator biting off their face in the good old U.S.A.? Floridians, that's who! Growing up in Illinois I was free to run through the creeks and swim in lakes near my home. Here in Florida, however, the minute you decide to step off the pavement and into nature you are fair game

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1145277413855587822006-04-17T07:27:00.000-05:002006-07-06T08:44:23.953-05:00

A small plane ran off course while taking off from the Gainesville airport on Saturday and crashed into the terminal, killing three people. Our local news interviewed one of the girls at the airport and she had some selfless and heartfelt input on the airport cancelling its Easter flights (paraphrased because I didn't have time to write it down on my way out the door this morning):It's so scary

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1144942342412997002006-04-13T10:29:00.000-05:002006-04-13T10:32:22.420-05:00

For the third year in a row I have witnessed loss of power during the three days leading up to April 15th. In 2004, we sat in the dark for nearly two hours on April 13th while our tax returns rested on our desks waiting to be prepared. Last year the power went down for just a couple minutes on April 14th. Just now the power flickered and shorted out my co-worker's surge protector (go figure).

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1144849481004302052006-04-12T08:35:00.000-05:002006-04-12T08:44:41.016-05:00

In an effort to balance the views of last week's guest speaker, Ann Coulter, UF brought Margaret Cho for a free-to-the-public performance last night. I have now seen her live three times, and while this was largely "Margaret's Greatest Hits," she still cracked my shit up. She set the tone of the evening with this gem:She [Ann Coulter] is such a slave to the conservative mindset. She's like...

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1143131638231642632006-03-23T11:18:00.000-05:002006-03-23T11:35:17.193-05:00

My friend David recently moved to Orlando from Kansas and in true just-moved-to-Orlando fashion, his boyfriend began "gainful" employment at Walt Disney World. This morning David asked me about Traditions, a course required for all new Disney hires. I shared the following thoughts:David: heh, Ron gets to go through Traditions at DisneyChickenBooo: of courseDavid: what is it about?ChickenBooo: I

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1142476562557343812006-03-15T21:28:00.000-05:002006-03-16T12:04:06.290-05:00

Do you watch television? If so, then you need to visit Television Without Pity to read recaps of some of your favorite shows. The site's authors write hilarious in-depth reviews of every little detail of most prime-time shows. Each one takes a good twenty minutes to read, but they are worth it!Excerpt from the review of the season opener of America's Next Top Model:Next are the virginal walkers,

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1141675593864881332006-03-06T15:06:00.000-05:002006-03-12T14:43:05.493-05:00

The good news: I squeezed myself into size 34 jeans today.The bad news: My junk is in display for the entire world to see.Update: As I folded my laundry yesterday, I realized that the jeans are actually a size 33.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1141525322353737902006-03-04T21:22:00.000-05:002006-03-06T14:35:40.876-05:00

Wow. I have no recollection of sending this picture to my blog, but judging from the bright lights and the time stamp I'm going to assume that I took at the Coldplay / Fiona Apple concert on Saturday night. I had many drinks... they allowed double fisting!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1140961814054071072006-02-26T08:42:00.000-05:002006-02-26T08:50:14.080-05:00

Matt and I occasionally talk about putting on an awards ceremony in our apartment. We're going to invite Kelly Clarkson to accept the award for "Most Sassy Singles in a Calendar Year" and then present a lifetime achievement award to Laura Linney for her work in everything she has ever done... particularly Love Actually and Primal Fear. She earns our official rating as "The Deal." The ceremony

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1140785812646681292006-02-24T07:56:00.000-05:002006-02-24T08:00:49.660-05:00

I signed up for some extra cable stations yesterday expecting to get some racy indy film fun, but I was certainly not expecting selections like this. And at 7:00 in the morning, no less!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1139981105277826512006-02-15T00:01:00.000-05:002006-02-15T20:41:08.180-05:00

Final Four season is upon us once again. Not the silly NCAA spectacle, but the happy-time fun show that is American Idol. Granted, the actual final four doesn't happen for at least three more months, but it isn't too early to start betting on it, Vegas style. So here is the American Idol pool I have proposed to my friends: Each participant pledges $40. After the Top 24 are named tomorrow

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1139963686134767162006-02-14T19:34:00.000-05:002006-02-15T00:00:31.746-05:00

Check out our Third Annual Valentine's Day Crab Cake Bake-Off. Unfortunately it was also the third year that they crumbled into tiny pieces when we tried to flip them over. Maybe next year we'll get the damn recipe right.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1138886573998785142006-02-02T08:13:00.000-05:002006-02-02T08:25:24.536-05:00

I recently received some criticism for my book review in which David Sedaris earned a lower Homo rating than Wicked. I feel I need to defend my judgement. Read below for my open letter to the naysayers.re: The Homo FactorDavid Sedaris isn't funny because he's gay. He's gay and funny. Yes he lives with his boyfriend in Paris, but it reads like they are any other old married couple. His writing

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1138838011795459872006-02-01T18:53:00.000-05:002006-02-01T20:03:17.993-05:00

Isn't she beautiful? I cried when I cut her fierce little head off.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1136859129012292162006-01-09T21:12:00.000-05:002006-01-10T00:01:48.203-05:00

Welcome to the inaugural Gainesville, FL Oat Off. Matt decided to spruce up his boring Quaker oatmeal breakfast by adding various items found in our refrigerator and cupboards. He set up a taste test for us - here are the results:Spicy Peanut Oats: Thai peanut sauce, sesame seeds, oatmeal. This was the most delicious of the bunch. 3/10Herbed Oats: Coriander, rosemary, celery seeds, oatmeal.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1136306962704735072006-01-03T10:55:00.000-05:002006-01-03T12:00:36.160-05:00

After spending eight long years in three different colleges I finally earned a bachelor's degree last month. Scholastic freedom and newfound unemployment status have provided me with a little extra time to catch up on eight years of pleasure reading, and I have taken the time to recommend some books (Oprah style) and assign an arbitrary homo rating. Please pay no attention to the sentence

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1135054848975551512005-12-20T00:00:00.000-05:002005-12-20T00:37:50.896-05:00

I just saw this hanging on the wall in the theatre. It's supposed to come out on April 14th. The resolution on my camera phone is rather poor, but if you look closely you can see my spooge on the wall next to the poster.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1135033098085252582005-12-19T17:53:00.000-05:002005-12-19T17:58:18.096-05:00

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1134153714161799602005-12-09T13:36:00.000-05:002005-12-09T13:41:54.170-05:00

Behold my first Christmas tree in nine years.Pretty gay, huh? Oh and I got fired yesterday. Happy holidays!

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1133037654810557402005-11-26T15:40:00.000-05:002005-11-27T02:32:29.133-05:00

This picture doesn't quite do justice to the crowd trying to get into the football game today. It was like New Years Eve in Times Square. Then we won. A lot.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1132840179519644982005-11-24T08:49:00.000-05:002005-11-24T09:24:06.090-05:00

Here's hoping it doesn't taste like shit.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1132068261712453242005-11-15T10:24:00.000-05:002005-11-15T11:47:24.076-05:00

I think Matt and I just out-gayed ourselves. We skipped class this morning, put on a nice button down shirt and proceeded to Best Buy to snag the new Madonna cd. I know what you're thinking though... Real fans would have been there at 10:00am when the doors opened.Unfortunately we didn't arrive until 10:06.UPDATE: I called my friend Eric at 11:20 this morning to review the cd. When he answered

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1131767274090871052005-11-11T22:47:00.000-05:002005-11-12T21:26:04.993-05:00

Featured item in the WalMart toy section: A whole pile of horny horses.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1131452625901370482005-11-08T07:19:00.001-05:002005-11-08T07:24:47.503-05:00

Meet Rolanda. She's my new 2006 Honda Civic. I had to turn a trick in the parking lot at the dealership to make my down payment, but it was well worth it.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1130548681430181722005-10-28T20:18:00.000-05:002005-11-03T21:40:19.410-05:00

This is my 45th Epcot picture. I'm an Epcot addict.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1129488505403657322005-10-16T13:20:00.000-05:002005-10-16T13:48:25.410-05:00

I'm a little hefty. It's become a part of college life that I hope to God I can find the time to combat after graduation. But every now and then I find a few spare minutes to go and try to lose a pound or two. So this morning I woke up and decided to dust off the old rollerblades.In the past I've managed to trek a good thirty miles on the ole skates, but up here in North Florida that would

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1129135553298588392005-10-12T11:42:00.000-05:002005-10-12T11:45:53.303-05:00

The sister and I discussed my upcoming car purchuse today and how I was considering taking some cash off of a credit card to pad my down payment.Gina: if i were you i'd find out if the dealer accepts credit cards as part of the down payment so you dont have the higher interest fee of cash advance. i bet they doGina: it would appear as a purchase rather than a cash advanceJosh: trueJosh: I was

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1128798940813873672005-10-08T14:15:00.000-05:002005-10-08T17:07:57.320-05:00

We get into some serious football at UF. And we kick ass much of the time.

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1125452404168446942005-08-30T20:32:00.000-05:002005-08-30T20:40:04.173-05:00

Verizon sucks sometimes. Most phone companies lure you on board with a two year contract, to which I don't object... but as I found out yesterday when I went to replace my 18 month old phone with a shiny new one, apparently you can't even upgrade your phone for the two year period without paying full price. In other words, they wanted to charge me $400+ for a phone that was listed at $150.I'm

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1125107799063082992005-08-26T20:37:00.000-05:002005-08-27T11:31:56.116-05:00

It's another Friday night listening to Derek & Romaine on Sirius OutQ, where they are jamming vibrators and buttplugs into inflatable Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Lopez dolls using Purell antibiotic sanitizer for lube. So anyhow, remember the How Gay Are You? contest I won a couple months ago? Behold my prize! If you click back and read the comments, you'll notice that Derek Hartley himself

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1123941181296459352005-08-13T08:18:00.000-05:002005-08-13T08:53:01.303-05:00

For eight years now I have been going out into the world either alone, with a date, or in a group of gay men who run the spectrum from plain ole guys to big ole gurls. And for eight years I have never once had a problem with the attitudes of onlookers or passers-by. Well I take that back: once in 1999 there was this teenage girl in the mall who was mocking my friend Tim and me until we reminded

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1122495399355300762005-07-27T15:07:00.000-05:002005-07-27T15:17:07.263-05:00

My sister Gina and I sit and talk online all day along while at our respective jobs, during which we'll stream Sirius Satellite Radio and comment on every song and artist that comes on the radio. It's not entirely unlike the two old men in the balcony on The Muppet Show.Lately we've been stuck on the 80's channel where we have discovered our mutual disdain for Huey Lewis. A song of his just

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3897728.post-1122410359835210532005-07-26T15:37:00.000-05:002005-07-26T15:39:19.840-05:00

My sister, Gina, on why she doesn't like the bookkeeping aspect of her job: " If i had a calculator with blind person keys, the real big ones, i might feel a little different. but i got this little fucking thing you could probably fit in your ass, and i fuck the numbers up constantly and have to start over."

Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00692783710988663172noreply@blogger.com